Lies, Damn Lies, and DFAC Menus

Another KAF-tastic week under my belt; just six more days til I go on leave. My mood has begun fluctuating wildly between bemusement, disgust, elation, confusion and disgust. Not an uncommon occurrence for any long-in-the-tooth KAF-ite as the end of a roto nears. On the bright side, M has released a new improved version of the DFACOmatic but then there’s all that stuff on the other side. But first, how about some Zeppelin?

Good Times, Bad Times

Good Times, Bad Times

Continue reading

Advertisements

The Drudgery Report

Another week down with lots of time to kill. Everyday is pretty much the same. I spend them eating, sleeping, and playing Call of Duty working. I also spent a lot of time reading the internet. In fact, I finished it yesterday. It was okay.

Anyway, now that I’m done that I have time to write a post about the tedium that was life this past week. You don’t wanna read about that shit? Too bad. Continue reading

I Am Not An Animal!

All of one’s normal standards of behaviour, language, food quality, cleanliness and humour along with everything else that differentiates us from our poo-flinging primate cousins take a dive within a few days of one’s first arrival in KAF. Sure, we manage to crawl up out of the sewer and feign at least of modicum of civility when we get back to the real world on leave…but this place drags you right back down again.

In that vein, along with the usual culinary bouquets and brickbats, you’ll get to read some KAF-funny jokes, inappropriate details about digestion, and some of the little things that seem so KAF-good but really just don’t suck as much as they could. Pretty exciting, huh?

But first…how would you like to open your door and find this?

There is no reason this should exist.

There is no reason this should exist.

Continue reading

Piglet and Poo(h)

If you’re eagerly anticipating a heartwarming tale from the the Hundred Acre Wood, you’ve been horribly misled. You see, I’m almost two weeks into this roto and they say “Time flies when you’re having fun”. Well, I wouldn’t know. They also say “Patience is a virtue”. They are fucking idiots. But, hey! Look at this picture of helicopters:

Yeah, cool or whatever.

Yeah, cool or whatever.

Continue reading

48 Hours

I knew today was gonna be a good day. Not only am I down to the final 48 hours before leave but I opened the bathroom stall this morning to find that the guy before me had actually flushed. A good omen and an unexpected reminder that civilization exists somewhere. With that uplifting start to my day my journalistic furnace is fully stoked. Let’s see what kind of KAF awesomeness I’ll be unmissing while I’m at home. But first…here’s a sign I defy you to understand:

So, you're open when?

So, you’re open when?

Continue reading

Vittle Statistics

49C49C. That’s just stupid and the first person to say “But it’s a dry heat” gets a kick in the head. Seriously, as humans migrated out of the great rift valley and spread across the earth, how did anyone end up living here? Where the hell were they before that was so bad they got to this shithole and thought “Oooh, this is just lovely! So much nicer than the place we just left. Let’s stay!”

Anyway, lots of KAF news and food bitches to get caught up on but first, of course, our latest messed up Toyota.

I find these delightful.

I find these delightful.

Continue reading

The More Things Change…

We had some huge changes in personnel over the last few weeks but even with the fresh faces of new staff, KAF remains pretty much the same; some food was good, more food was bad, my workmates made inane comments and a Surf lost it’s wheel.

Spotted yesterday by M near the fuel point.

Spotted yesterday by M near the fuel point.

Continue reading

Rekafinated

I got back to KAF way back on December 11th but I just couldn’t find my blog-writin’ mojo. Probably a combination of missing yet another Xmas at home and having just signed a contract renewal for another two years in this shithole. Having that kind of KAF time in front of me makes me just want to put my head down, do my job and let the time wash over me in a blur of monotony. However, a quick look at my paycheck along with my inability to keep my mouth shut have renewed my vigour…so here goes: Continue reading

Homefront to Back

I got back to KAF last week from a slightly extended time at home. I’ve been remiss in writing any posts due mainly to needing time for:
1. my aged body to adjust to the time zone;
2. my foggy brain to get a handle on the work stuff; and
3. my broken spirit to accept my fate.
Sorry about that. Anyway, I’ve got a large selection of disparate anecdotes to share both from home and from my first week back through the looking glass. Continue reading