Mission Accomplished

A long, long time ago; I can still remember…

10 December 2008. 5 years, 1 month and 19 days ago I first set foot in KAF.  Tomorrow, on 30 January 2014, I’m leaving it for the last time. A lot of people might expect this to be a bittersweet moment but a lot of people are idiots. Sure, the job’s been fun, exciting, and rewarding. I got to work with some great people and I sure learned a lot. But the job’s also been dull, stressful, and frustrating. I got to work with some people who were a pain in the ass and I learned shit about other cultures I wish I could unknow. And, most damningly, it’s been 5 years of working in fucking KAF with its overabundance of stench, heat, crappy food, boredom and NATO goddamn stupid-ass bureaucracy…and, of course, the seemingly ever present poo. That’s enough of that.

I figured I’d wrap up the 2 1/2 year history of Just DFACs Ma’am with some history, some explanations, some thanks, and a little summary of what it’s all meant.

Final Countdown

Just another drive to the office.

I’m thinking this will be my second last blog post on Just DFACs Maam. There’s not really that much more that can be said about the food and life here, anyway, but I’ll yammer on about it this one last time. My final post will more of a summary along with some general musings on my time here and what it all meant (or didn’t mean)

I know, with only 6 days left to go, some may be thinking “Gee, I wonder if he’s regretting giving his notice”. Well, no. No, I’m not. Sure, I get to see some cool shit on my commute but the asininity of KAF has continued apace and I have to get out of here before I begin thinking any of this is normal. To wit:

The Beginning of the End

Almost There

I got back into KAF for my final roto four days ago. At only 16 days long, you’d think this one would fly by but the delicious prospect of soon being a hobo has slowed subjective time to a crawl. Luckily, I have the crafting of this pointless compendium of KAF ridiculousness to help pass the time so read on as I tell you about KAF goings-on as if I still give a fuck.

The Drudgery Report

Another week down with lots of time to kill. Everyday is pretty much the same. I spend them eating, sleeping, and playing Call of Duty working. I also spent a lot of time reading the internet. In fact, I finished it yesterday. It was okay.

Anyway, now that I’m done that I have time to write a post about the tedium that was life this past week. You don’t wanna read about that shit? Too bad.

Piglet and Poo(h)

If you’re eagerly anticipating a heartwarming tale from the the Hundred Acre Wood, you’ve been horribly misled. You see, I’m almost two weeks into this roto and they say “Time flies when you’re having fun”. Well, I wouldn’t know. They also say “Patience is a virtue”. They are fucking idiots. But, hey! Look at this picture of helicopters:

Yeah, cool or whatever.

Wonderland

KAF is indeed a wonderland…in the sense that it makes you wonder about stuff that normally wouldn’t come to mind in the real world. So, in with the usual inane anecdotes and pointless fooducation, I’ll sprinkle some of the stuff one wonders about only if they’re here.  But first, here’s some guys with a bitch of a commute:

I prefer it on this side of the wire, thanks.

48 Hours

I knew today was gonna be a good day. Not only am I down to the final 48 hours before leave but I opened the bathroom stall this morning to find that the guy before me had actually flushed. A good omen and an unexpected reminder that civilization exists somewhere. With that uplifting start to my day my journalistic furnace is fully stoked. Let’s see what kind of KAF awesomeness I’ll be unmissing while I’m at home. But first…here’s a sign I defy you to understand:

So, you’re open when?

Dinner Guests and Other Diversions

Over the course of just a couple of days, we made some new friends, we ate some food and D got in trouble. If KAF terms, that’s a rollicking good time. Even more exciting than sitting beside the North Line rat trap and its implied promise of vermin.

That Ain’t Right

Fuck you solar system. Like the days in KAF aren’t long enough, ya gotta pick a day I’m here for the longest day of the year. And now you’ve got this goddamn Super Moon coming tomorrow which seems to be really wreaking havoc with shit. A bunch of stuff that just shouldn’t be happening was going down this week. Anyway, on with the show:

Focus On Food

Ha Ha Ha. I fucking hate you.

This is, ostensibly, a blog about KAF food so, today, I’m going to try to concentrate on the comestibles with only brief forays into other shit that amused me; an emotion which, after more than 4 years in KAF, is becoming indistinguishable from being pissed off. Like, sure, it’s kinda funny to see yet another Frus…but don’t you want to go to the factory and punch Decal-Guy in the face?