Lies, Damn Lies, and DFAC Menus

Another KAF-tastic week under my belt; just six more days til I go on leave. My mood has begun fluctuating wildly between bemusement, disgust, elation, confusion and disgust. Not an uncommon occurrence for any long-in-the-tooth KAF-ite as the end of a roto nears. On the bright side, M has released a new improved version of the DFACOmatic but then there’s all that stuff on the other side. But first, how about some Zeppelin?

Good Times, Bad Times

Misanthropy 101

People just mess stuff up. I mean, sure, Afghanistan is too fucking dusty and too fucking hot but it really wouldn’t be that bad if the people weren’t always oppressing, raping and shooting each other and blowing everything up.

As a UN peacekeeper in southern (now South) Sudan many moons ago, I found the bush and climate to both be pretty decent…the people, not so much. That was the first place I found out that neither feces nor spousal abuse are considered disgusting in every culture.

Now, in the microcosm that is Kandahar Airfield, the same general rule applies. People ruin everything.

Oh, and I’ve thrown in some random food pictures that have nothing to do with the main text because pilots sometimes “read” this blog.

Movie Night

It’s been a while since I’ve posted so I’ve got a week’s worth of vitally important KAF commentary to pass along. I’ll be covering topics as diverse as Scottish tourism, our new breakfast DFAC, how to use Excel like you’re not an idiot, weight loss tips and more! Perhaps most exciting is the premiere of a new video demonstrating irrational spoon usage. But first, here’s what an end rotation party looks like in KAF. Sure, the beer was non-alcoholic but we had BBQ’d lobster tails and you didn’t.

The fun never ends in our little desert paradise.

Wonderland

KAF is indeed a wonderland…in the sense that it makes you wonder about stuff that normally wouldn’t come to mind in the real world. So, in with the usual inane anecdotes and pointless fooducation, I’ll sprinkle some of the stuff one wonders about only if they’re here.  But first, here’s some guys with a bitch of a commute:

I prefer it on this side of the wire, thanks.

Halftime

“It’s defying the laws of physics, like, right now” – R

I’m now halfway through this roto. Seems like a good time to look back over the myriad notes and photos in my iPod and try to cobble together a blog post. This post won’t have the usual philosophical depth and far-reaching social impact you’ve come to expect; it’s simply some food commentary along with insignificant shit I found amusing, demusing or bemusing…like this water bottle ->
Ha ha ha…look! It’s leaning but not falling over!

I gotta get the fuck outta here.

Lessons Learned

Lifelong learning…yeah, I suppose it’s a good thing…but it seems that all the knowledge I’m accumulating in KAF is gonna be next to useless in the real world. This sucks because my cranial hard drive reached capacity circa 1985 so anytime I learn the latest badging process or read a new KAF SOP, it overwrites my birthdate, room location or some other important shit. In this post, along with the usual miscellany, I’ll let you in on some of the crap that got stuffed into our heads this week. Things like: I was silly to ever be intimidated by some tailgating jerk in a Honda Civic on the 101.

Yoiks!

This is Getting Queuepid

The ridiculous line-ups at several of the DFACs continue to annoy but there’s been some decent food and a few other things that probably aren’t worth mentioning. Let me tell you about them…

Two’s Company, Three Hundred’s a Crowd

I arrived back in my hovel last Saturday after 4 weeks off. I know you all want to see slides of what I did on my summer vacation; however, that’ll have to wait for the very special “Ireland” episode of Just DFACS Ma’am but here’s a teaser: their public washrooms are very clean. For now, I’ve just got a few bouquets and several brickbats to toss around regarding the last 6 days.

Focus On Food

Ha Ha Ha. I fucking hate you.

This is, ostensibly, a blog about KAF food so, today, I’m going to try to concentrate on the comestibles with only brief forays into other shit that amused me; an emotion which, after more than 4 years in KAF, is becoming indistinguishable from being pissed off. Like, sure, it’s kinda funny to see yet another Frus…but don’t you want to go to the factory and punch Decal-Guy in the face?

Oops They Did It Again

Yay! Easter Santa!

I fucking love Easter in KAF! Some of you may remember last year’s awesomely incomprehensible displays. And this year, while more subdued, the random conflation of holidays continued.