Some stuff people want and some stuff people don’t want. I’m no economist but I think DFACs should have more of the stuff people want and less of the stuff they don’t.
But I Waaaant Some!
Northline seems to be having real trouble keeping up with their customers lately. I already whinged about the dearth of chicken and taco toppings and yesterday was no better. The fancy-pants Corn Don Bleu was back on the menu. “Yum, Imma gonna gets me summa that factory made goodness” I said to myself because I didn’t want anyone to hear me using such poor grammar. Anyhoo…I got to the front of the line only to find a barren Corn Don Bleu tray. “Hey, are you going to get anymore Cordon Bleu” I asked. Evidently, my mispronunciation of Corn Don confounded the server as he looked to his co-worker with something approaching panic. The co-worker confidently provided me with Answer #1 from the DFAC List Of Answers to Customer Questions Regarding Food Availability: (head waggle) “Maybe 10 minute”. Hmm, where had I heard this before? So, off I toddled, Corn-Don-Bleu-less, to the short order bar. About 30 seconds later, the server from the main line rushed up to me to tell me the Corn Don was ready! By this point I already had fries and chicken wings on my plate so I passed but I gotta give the guy props for chasing me down. Here’s a wacky idea though…how about actually checking on the status of food when you run out of it so you don’t have to use that old “Maybe 10 minute” ploy?
Cambridge had a similar issue this evening. Two distraught Brit civvies were hovering around the empty Bread Pudding tray, one describing the situation as “tragic”. I suggested that they opt for the Apple Crumble Crisp but they’d have none of it. While one went off in search of DFAC employee with access to the Bread Pudding cache, the other suggested I try the “Semiya” as it is “rather good”. Nice try, buddy…I’ve had that stuff. It’s exactly like rice pudding except rice pudding doesn’t taste like shit. I had the Apple Crumble Crisp even though they really should decide if it’s crumble or crisp. What’s next? Chip Fries? I have no idea whether those two Brits ever got their bread pudding and, not surprisingly, I don’t care.
Don’t Quit Your Day Job
Unlike the DFACs, M has no problems with supply and demand when it comes to the DFAC-O-Matic. He has somehow managed to find the time to churn out the over 100 DFAC-O-Matics that have been downloaded from the Apple App Store. It remains a free download, of course, but M informs me that he’s made over $0.20 from the ads in it! The updated version, with the addition of the quantum spin score, is now available.
And In Other News
For any of you who think the salad bar line in a crowded DFAC is an excellent place to stop and discuss at length the various items on offer and how they may or may not fit into your current binge/purge cycle, you may want to heed the advice M offered three such US Servicewomen at the Cambridge the other day: “Instead of talking about it, how about just picking something?” The unspoken “for fuck’s sake” was conveyed through tone.
I shied away from the Chippy at the Cambridge tonight as all they had on offer was Pollock in perfect squares. Sure, the rectangular fish was really good but I didn’t want to press my luck…and good thing I didn’t. I found some BBQ Pork Ribs at the short order bar. Yeah, that’s right, Pork ribs…not those nasty beef ones they’re always trying to foist off on us. They were restaurant quality awesome although I wish they had had more of that excellent sauce on them. Just to round out my meal, I couldn’t resist trying the Spicy Bean Patty. It, too, was surprisingly good despite having a bit of a bean taste, however, the zesty spices served to cover it up nicely.
The only let down on the night was the “ice cream” M had on his Apple Crumble Crisp. One taste and he flung the frozen mess out of his bowl with a look of disgust and cry of “that’s not ice cream. I don’t know what the hell it is but it’s not ice cream”. That was disturbing but he was so distraught that I didn’t dare ask him to elaborate. I did, however, chastise him for not allowing me to get my camera before he threw his little tantrum. No one ever thinks of me.
A quick “thanks for tryin'” to the Lux for having a couple of things I hadn’t seen there before, BBQ Beef Brisket and Orange/Almond Glazed Carrots. Neither one was all that good (the BBQ sauce was nondescript and the carrots were grossly overcooked and way, way too sweet) but, hey, it shows you’re making an effort. And you hadn’t run out of any of it.
So, we’re all reminded all the time by little posters in our accommodations block that KAF has a limited water supply. It’s up to us to conserve water ourselves, berate our coworkers if they’re using too much, and report any leaks or drips. Following one of my
15 3 minute showers, I noted that the shower head continued to drip quite profusely. Being a dutiful KAF rat, I whined about reported it immediately.
I was delighted to see that the maintenance guys got on it right away because it’s my favourite shower as it has a place for my hook. They immediately took off the shower head and capped off the end. That particular shower stall was out of order for days and I’d see various bits and pieces of plumbing laying about it. After about a week, there’s a brand new, awesome shower head…that still drips. Ok, it once took me three days and five tries to install a new water heater without leaks so my plumbing expertise is questionable but, holy shit, even I know that dripping showers are not caused by the shower head! They didn’t even touch the hot and cold taps where the leak almost certainly originates. And, hey, if you’re called in to stop a shower from dripping, shouldn’t ya maybe see if it drips after you’ve “fixed” it? Mind you, I’m not going to report it again…the new shower head rocks! I’ll just do my bit by reporting my coworkers if I catch them taking 4 minute showers.
Sorry, I’m fresh out of bottom lines.
“You can’t always get what you want” – Mick Jagger
So, you may have answered this before, but it continues to appall me that you guys are fed off paper plates using plastic cutlery. Is water so rationed that they opt to use more plastic/paper than to wash reusable dishes and cutlery? Or is the thought too unhygenic for anyone to bear?
I have no idea what the rationale is behind the disposal cutlery etc although I’m sure water has something to do with it. The water from the DFACs has to be trucked to the giant water tanks so minimizing use makes sense. And, yeah, having seen how they wash the trays, I’m ok with the plastic/paper.
Any DFAC cook book coming soon. Maybe Martha Stewart or Hannibal Lechter can do the forward?
The restaurant quality BBQ Pork ribs were probably from Camp Lindsey. We had them all the time.