I came across several instances of people making odd or, dare I say it, dumb decisions over the last few days. Perhaps you’d think after almost 4 years in KAF that the seemingly endless bounds of human weirdness would no longer bother me. You’d be wrong.
These are the People in My Neighbourhood
I told you I’ve moved into a new building in which the occupants had acquitted themselves with such class that they were forbidden access to paper towels. Apparently, these scamps get up to more hijinks than just plugging up the toilets. Sure, I’d found evidence of the bottle pissers before so I knew it went on. But, I gotta ask these lazy fucks “Seriously? That’s the person you want to be? The one who pees in a bottle? What the fuck is wrong with you?”. And, while I applaud management for trying to crack down on these urine hoarders, I gotta think “Surely, they already knew that pissing in a bottle is not cool, right? Is there any hope of compliance from people who wouldn’t know that?”
Right Said, Fred
57 Channels and Nothing’s On
As usual, we went to the North Line for lunch. There are six TVs in there. They were all playing the same thing. It was some crazy ass megachurch preacher with a bunch of glassy eyed, arm waving zealots paying him rapt attention. Who the hell decided this was appropriate and not annoying? This being a facility in which US military folk are forced to eat, I thought this very well could be a violation of the first amendment. Since none of the armed US military people there seemed inclined to defend the US Constitution, (isn’t that, like, their job and stuff?) it was up to this one unarmed Canadian civie to do it on their behalf. Ok, perhaps it had more to do with my status as a smart-ass, born-again heathen coupled with my desire to watch the news rather than a principled statement in support of democratic ideals but I did get the DFAC supervisor to change the channel to CNN. He seemed to get a little chuckle out of my “I think maybe a news channel would be more appropriate than a crazy preacher. Not everyone in here is Christian” comment. To all my American readers: You’re welcome and when can I expect my Congressional Medal of Honour?
Bottom Line
If you’re in KAF and have to make a decision but you’re concerned you might be an idiot, drop me a line…I can help.
“There are no such things as curses; only people and their decisions” – Yvonne Wood
Gawd.
As always, funny/sad/crazy-good writing. I’m just a little sorry that there’s just so much seemingly unending fodder for you to write about. xo
I do hope the bottle pisser are found and sent home, hey…wait a minute could this be a way to go home early?