Indian Territory

Quite the ornate chapeau!

J, D and I wandered down to the Cambridge for dinner tonight. Immediately upon entering we realized something was afoot. The staff at the card swipe area were decked out in bejeweled Indian raiment. (No, not buckskin and feathers…I mean the other Indians). The new purple DFAC uniforms may be quite fetching but they just don’t cut it for these dudes. “Holy shit,” I think, “has Bollywood come to town?”

*not exactly as shown

The mysterious air of the Asian sub-continent continued as we passed through the inner DFAC doors to the dining area. The place was resplendent in opulent Indian decorations and each member of the staff seemed more ornately dressed than the last. Ok, so maybe I’ve exaggerated the extravagance of the decor, but it was pretty gussied up. There was another giant mural, this one featuring a pretty groovy Indian scene, tons of stuff hanging from the ceiling and, of course, a cake. Most importantly, the food was pretty damn good. Not surprising as I know many of the DFAC staff, including cooks, are from India. Still wondering what the occasion was, I saw a sign wishing me a “Happy Deepavali”. Thanks to the wondrous synergies spawned by Google and Wikipedia I now know that Deepavali is just another word for Diwali…sorta like Christmas is just another word for Saturnalia, I suppose.

I gotta get into the mural business...

Mystery Menu

I’ll let the menu speak for itself since I wouldn’t pronounce most of it correctly anyway. I wanted to get some of the Vegetable Samosas but the line up was way too damn long. Hell, all the line ups were way too damn long except the secret line which was only damn long. BTW the secret line is the second from the western entrance to the Cambridge. It serves the same stuff as the first line but most sheeple just line up in the first line and never check out the second. Shhh…don’t tell anyone.

Speaking of sheeple, I contemplated getting some dessert because they had those Indian TimBit-like thingies in sweet sauce (Gulab Jamun perchance?) but the line was long and static. One of the desserts had run out and it happened to be what the guy in front wanted. So, he stood there, not moving while people, some of whom very likely wanted something else, piled up behind him. So hey, asshole in front of the line, turn the fuck around and tell the people behind you to go ahead if they aren’t waiting for what you want. And all you other weenies standing stock still behind him for 10 minutes, take the goddamn initiative, suss out what’s going on and go around the asshole if you want something that is available. Anyway, I just went to the salad bar and got some melon and a Fanta orange slushie…beats the shit outta Gulab Jamun anyway.

Indian Cuisine fit for a Rana

I had the chicken, beef and rice along with Palak Masala (the green stuff). It was the best Chicken Dhan Sag I’ve ever had. The Beef Reejala was a little chewy and seemed a tad bland next to the chicken but otherwise ok. The rice tasted like rice but was good when mixed with the green stuff.

Yes, we know the chick peas aren't lentils...they're underneath. Don't be a smarty-pants.

J had his usual giant plate of stuff. He’s staying away from carbs as he tries to emulate my Adonis-like physique. So, he had a bit of anything veggie or protein-like with very little rice. He seemed particularly taken with the lentils. D mentioned that he had never knowingly eaten lentils until he came to KAF. While I think I’ve eaten stuff with lentils in it before, I concurred that lentils are not a staple back in the real world. “Honey, could you pick up some lentils on your way home from work?” is not something my wife has ever said to me. It would be akin to hearing the phrase “Damn! We don’t have one bloody rutabaga in the house!” It just doesn’t happen. J, however, vowed to eat more lentils at home as they are, apparently, a good source of protein. I pointed out that previous to tonight, the longest conversation I’d ever had about lentils went something like this: Waiter -“Would you like to try the lentil soup?” Me – “No”.

If it's not rice...what is it?

D, being a much more patient man than I, braved the dessert line up and got some Gulab Jamun along with what he ominously described as “it tastes like rice pudding but that’s not rice”. He declared it to be pretty good and ate it all; however, he had a look of trepidation which intensified with every spoonful.

Revisiting the menu makes me think it was Semiya with Kissmes or Raisin and Vermicelli Pudding. I wish I had known that at the time so I could have allayed his fears.

Bottom Line

Once again the DFAC staff went above and beyond to make things a little less dull around here. I’m sure it was appreciated by all the Indians at KAF as much as I appreciated the effort that went into the Canadian Thanksgiving (Cannibal Turkey aside).

4 thoughts on “Indian Territory

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