Thanksgiving (The Canadian One)

T, J, L , S and I all headed out to the Niagara tonight because L had heard they were doing up a turkey dinner for Canadian Thanksgiving. Yeah, that’s right all you Yanks, we Canadians have a Thanksgiving too. Hey, how come we always have to refer to ours as “Canadian Thanksgiving” but you just call yours “Thanksgiving”? The young American Serviceman in front of us in line, upon seeing all the decorations exclaimed ” I didn’t even know Canada had a Thanksgiving”. Always interested in sharing the wealth of knowledge I’ve acquired in my 48 years, I told the young gentleman that Canada actually had the first Thanksgiving a full month before the pilgrims so it is obvious that they just copied us. He inquired as to whether our Thanksgiving myth was the same as their pilgrim story. I said “No, we don’t put up with that puritan shit in Canada. We just co-opted a pagan harvest festival”. I was about to regale him with tales of naked dances around the sacred maple tree and the reading of beaver entrails but it was our turn to be served.

Amended Banner

I’ve gotta admit that I was rather chuffed to see that the DFAC folks went to such trouble for a holiday nobody but Canadians even know exists. The poor yanks were all checking their watches to ensure it was still October when they saw the “Happy Thanksgiving” banner. To avoid confusion in the future, I recommend that the Niagara folks use the version I’ve amended for them. You’re welcome.

Turkey and All the Fixin’s

The Menu

The food was pretty much standard Thanksgiving fare. The turkey was a little dry but hadn’t been kept in whatever dehydrator is usually used for any boneless chicken they serve so it was quite tolerable. I’m a little pissed that I didn’t see any cranberry sauce until I noticed it on someone’s plate on my way out. I love cranberry sauce. I’d eat giant spoonfuls of it without the turkey if I could stand the mocking stares that behaviour generally attracts.

J and his grub

The ham was pretty damn excellent but, sad to say, the potatoes once again were a pasty mess. T and L both claimed to like the potatoes but T has been in theatre quite a while and L is British so I wouldn’t really trust the gustatory  declarations of either one. Upon hearing T’s spirited defense of the gluey spuds, S exclaimed “I could make better mashed potatoes with a rubber boot”. I don’t know what that means but I’d hazard a guess that he didn’t care for them. I really can’t decide if the mashed are always crap because they are from dried flakes or if they just leave too much water in with the potatoes before they whip them. Either way, I sure as hell wasn’t thankful for them.

I had sweet potato pie for dessert. It looks and kinda tastes like pumpkin pie so is a reasonable substitute but it just ain’t the same.

The Decor

In the interest of full disclosure, I should let you know that I got an email about my blog from a very nice woman from Supreme (the company who runs several of the DFACs). I felt some trepidation when I saw that Supreme management was reading my blog because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, I sometimes complain about the food…and even cuss a bit. Thankfully, she wasn’t a lawyer. It turns out that she is in charge of decorating for theme nights and enjoys the blog along with one or two of the other managers. It’s good to know the people feeding me have a sense of humour…and don’t hold a grudge. (You don’t…right?)

This sure ain't American Thanksgiving.

Now, just because she likes my blog doesn’t mean I won’t take the piss with the decorations. However, on this occasion, I’m going to be rather nice. We Canadians are used to be being overlooked in just about anything we do. It always seems the Americans get all the attention. We’re kind of pathetic in how excited we get if some non-Canadian acknowledges our existence.

Holy Shit! That can't be easy!

We get all atwitter if Ethan Hawke spends the summer in Nova Scotia. So much so that it makes fucking national headlines.

Imagine how tickled we are that the maple leaf is spread all over the DFAC for our little holiday. There was a giant Canadian flag cake (that L reports looked delicious but tasted, unfortunately, like standard KAF cake) Even the watermelon was Canadian. Most Canadians can’t even draw a maple leaf much less carve one.

Cannibal Turkey

All of this red and white, maple leaf decor was pretty awesome. I gotta say, however, that I was a little perturbed by Cannibal Turkey. “Just let me carve you off one of my breasts, good sir. I shall cut off a leg for myself. I quite prefer my dark meat” it seems about to say before hacking into itself…smiling the whole while. What the fuck? That’s even creepier than the beaver entrails I’m used to.

The Bottom Line

Ya done good Ms. KAF DFAC Decor lady. Just lose the creepy bird.

9 thoughts on “Thanksgiving (The Canadian One)

  1. Nice to see the blog back…good for a laugh on a Monday morning down under, where, they too have no idea its Thanksgiving, for us Canadians. Just another workday.
    At least you got turkey this weekend. We could not find any in the store, so chicken on the BBQ it will be.

  2. I love Cannibal Turkey! Oh my god, I wish people would think before they put that stuff up…
    I’m sorry we didn’t have you home for Thanksgiving, my love; am happy they’re taking care of you at the DFAC. Cold comfort, I know.
    For you, I am very thankful.

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