J, S, T and I dined at IH tonight. As usual there was no menu so I wandered around to see what was what. The main line up was too long so I went for some tacos with very greasy, mushy meat and I’m glad I did.
S and T got the spaghetti from the main line. The tub o’ sauce beside it was labeled meat sauce. It tasted, unsurprisingly, exactly like hamburger meat. It was completely unsullied by anything else that may have masked it’s true meaty flavour. It is meat and once one puts it on pasta it is, in effect, sauce and I guess there’s something to be said for truth in advertising but, jeez IH folks, maybe you could at least add some garlic, onion, tomatoes, or at least some damn salt. I know we’re all trying to destroy T’s taste buds so he can once again
enjoy tolerate KAF food but take it easy on the guy…he’s only been back two days.
By any sane definition, meat sauce would contain more than just meat. I was willing to cut the DFAC guys a bit of slack and say they were just trying to be honest in their signage and truly didn’t think that we would expect meat sauce to be anything other than meat. Then I saw the “juice” and the depraved joy they derive from confusing us with their evil signage became all too clear.
The FDA defines juice as “the aqueous liquid expressed or extracted from one or more fruits or vegetables, purees of the edible portions of one or more fruits...” Most of the DFACS have pretty decent orange juice so when I saw the sign I was pretty chuffed. I then looked at the liquid in question, then back to the sign, then back to the liquid and the cognitive dissonance I was experiencing sent my heart into palpitations. “Orange juice is never that sickly colour,” I thought. “But the sign says ‘orange juice'” I countered. “Yeah, but that colour does not exist in nature you fucking moron.” I shot back. “But someone went to all the trouble to cross out ‘Tang’ and write in ‘juice’ and don’t call me a fucking moron, asshole” I snapped. “If it is indeed from oranges, there was something wrong with them and if you drink it you will die!”, I warned trying not to offend so as to try and de-escalate the situation. “Agreed, but it’s probably not from oranges so it’s likely safe and I want some” “Ok”. So, I got some. It was neither orange juice nor Tang. It had a sugary, Sunny D like taste. This shit is commonly called “orange drink” back home and I think the FDA would agree.
J had some of the chocolate pudding for dessert. When there has been pudding available in the past, I’ve often avoided it because it has grown that horrible film over the top of it. It has the consistency of raw chicken skin.J and I have long been debating the merits of this “pudding skin”. He claims, ignorantly and erroneously, that it is the best part and I claim, wisely and correctly, that it is disgusting and renders any pudding nearly inedible as one can never be sure to have removed it all before consuming.
I’ve developed a poll to settle this once and for all. DISCLAIMER: This web poll is formal, and scientific. It reflects opinions of the public as a whole and not just those of site visitors who voluntarily participate.
I probably put a profligate proponderance of p’s in the post prolog. Pardon me.
“Alliteration seems to offend people”-Odd Thomas