Wonderland

KAF is indeed a wonderland…in the sense that it makes you wonder about stuff that normally wouldn’t come to mind in the real world. So, in with the usual inane anecdotes and pointless fooducation, I’ll sprinkle some of the stuff one wonders about only if they’re here.  But first, here’s some guys with a bitch of a commute:

I prefer it on this side of the wire, thanks.

I prefer it on this side of the wire, thanks.

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Halftime

"It's defying the laws of physics right now" - R

“It’s defying the laws of physics, like, right now” – R

I’m now halfway through this roto. Seems like a good time to look back over the myriad notes and photos in my iPod and try to cobble together a blog post. This post won’t have the usual philosophical depth and far-reaching social impact you’ve come to expect; it’s simply some food commentary along with insignificant shit I found amusing, demusing or bemusing…like this water bottle ->
Ha ha ha…look! It’s leaning but not falling over!

I gotta get the fuck outta here.

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It’s Gonna Be an Adequate Day!

Believe it or not, it can get kind of tedious and unfun living and working in a shithole. Sometimes, however, there’s a little ray of figurative sunshine to go along with the literal scorching rays. When I’m surprised by a bit of good fortune in KAF, I can’t help but think “Hey, this is gonna be a good day!” Of course, I’m always wrong about that. Anyway, here’s a few rare occurrences that I take to be portents of adequate fortune.

1. The hard boiled eggs at breakfast are easy to peel.

2. The bank machines on the Boardwalk aren’t “Out of Service”…and there’s no line up!

3. My toast comes out of the toaster a different colour than when it went in.

4. A rocket attack siren coincides with my alarm clock.

5. The DFAC oatmeal is neither too soupy or too sludgy…it’s juuuusssst right.

6. Upon entering the bathroom stall, I find I’m the first to use it after it has been cleaned.

Bottom Line

Feel free to add your own KAF omens in the comments.

Always look on the bright side of life” – Brian

This is Getting Queuepid

The ridiculous line-ups at several of the DFACs continue to annoy but there’s been some decent food and a few other things that probably aren’t worth mentioning. Let me tell you about them… Continue reading

Two’s Company, Three Hundred’s a Crowd

I arrived back in my hovel last Saturday after 4 weeks off. I know you all want to see slides of what I did on my summer vacation; however, that’ll have to wait for the very special “Ireland” episode of Just DFACS Ma’am but here’s a teaser: their public washrooms are very clean. For now, I’ve just got a few bouquets and several brickbats to toss around regarding the last 6 days. Continue reading

Dinner Guests and Other Diversions

Over the course of just a couple of days, we made some new friends, we ate some food and D got in trouble. If KAF terms, that’s a rollicking good time. Even more exciting than sitting beside the North Line rat trap and its implied promise of vermin.

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Meh Friday

So Christians call this “Good Friday”. I don’t get that. In their story, didn’t Christ get crucified today? I’m pretty sure he didn’t muse “This is gonna be a good day!”  as some Roman nailed his fucking hands to a cross. Sure, living in KAF ain’t exactly like being crucified but “good” is too strong an adjective for almost any day in this shithole. Most days just wash over you in a blur of meh-ness. How can a blog about that kind of glamourous life not be awesome? Continue reading

I Forgot to Mention…

I know, I know, I haven’t updated ya’ll on the KAF dining situation in almost 2 months. I trust you managed to get yourselves fed in the interim. While I’ve been back here for approximately 11 days, 8 hours, 5 minutes and 42 seconds, I’m only now getting over my jet lag and apathy enough to get back to my journalistic duties. Continue reading