Reluctant Return

I got back to KAF last week. Fuck.

Yeah, well, anyway, how about I tell you a little bit about some shit? By the time I have this blog post written I should be 2-3 hours closer to getting the fuck outta here again.

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The End of the World as We Know It

Just had the last supper of this rotation and I’m more than ready to head off for leave tomorrow. I am, however, pretty concerned about what I might come back after 4 weeks. There’s a lot of changes goin’ on around here. But first, let’s all oooh and ahh at my ’69 Beaumont that is fresh outta the body/paint shop:

I do great work when I'm not around.

I do great work when I’m not around.

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Movie Night

It’s been a while since I’ve posted so I’ve got a week’s worth of vitally important KAF commentary to pass along. I’ll be covering topics as diverse as Scottish tourism, our new breakfast DFAC, how to use Excel like you’re not an idiot, weight loss tips and more! Perhaps most exciting is the premiere of a new video demonstrating irrational spoon usage. But first, here’s what an end rotation party looks like in KAF. Sure, the beer was non-alcoholic but we had BBQ’d lobster tails and you didn’t.

The fun never ends in our little desert paradise.

The fun never ends in our little desert paradise.

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Wonderland

KAF is indeed a wonderland…in the sense that it makes you wonder about stuff that normally wouldn’t come to mind in the real world. So, in with the usual inane anecdotes and pointless fooducation, I’ll sprinkle some of the stuff one wonders about only if they’re here.  But first, here’s some guys with a bitch of a commute:

I prefer it on this side of the wire, thanks.

I prefer it on this side of the wire, thanks.

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Halftime

"It's defying the laws of physics right now" - R

“It’s defying the laws of physics, like, right now” – R

I’m now halfway through this roto. Seems like a good time to look back over the myriad notes and photos in my iPod and try to cobble together a blog post. This post won’t have the usual philosophical depth and far-reaching social impact you’ve come to expect; it’s simply some food commentary along with insignificant shit I found amusing, demusing or bemusing…like this water bottle ->
Ha ha ha…look! It’s leaning but not falling over!

I gotta get the fuck outta here.

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It’s Gonna Be an Adequate Day!

Believe it or not, it can get kind of tedious and unfun living and working in a shithole. Sometimes, however, there’s a little ray of figurative sunshine to go along with the literal scorching rays. When I’m surprised by a bit of good fortune in KAF, I can’t help but think “Hey, this is gonna be a good day!” Of course, I’m always wrong about that. Anyway, here’s a few rare occurrences that I take to be portents of adequate fortune.

1. The hard boiled eggs at breakfast are easy to peel.

2. The bank machines on the Boardwalk aren’t “Out of Service”…and there’s no line up!

3. My toast comes out of the toaster a different colour than when it went in.

4. A rocket attack siren coincides with my alarm clock.

5. The DFAC oatmeal is neither too soupy or too sludgy…it’s juuuusssst right.

6. Upon entering the bathroom stall, I find I’m the first to use it after it has been cleaned.

Bottom Line

Feel free to add your own KAF omens in the comments.

Always look on the bright side of life” – Brian

Lessons Learned

Lifelong learning…yeah, I suppose it’s a good thing…but it seems that all the knowledge I’m accumulating in KAF is gonna be next to useless in the real world. This sucks because my cranial hard drive reached capacity circa 1985 so anytime I learn the latest badging process or read a new KAF SOP, it overwrites my birthdate, room location or some other important shit. In this post, along with the usual miscellany, I’ll let you in on some of the crap that got stuffed into our heads this week. Things like: I was silly to ever be intimidated by some tailgating jerk in a Honda Civic on the 101.

Yoiks!

Yoiks!

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This is Getting Queuepid

The ridiculous line-ups at several of the DFACs continue to annoy but there’s been some decent food and a few other things that probably aren’t worth mentioning. Let me tell you about them… Continue reading

Two’s Company, Three Hundred’s a Crowd

I arrived back in my hovel last Saturday after 4 weeks off. I know you all want to see slides of what I did on my summer vacation; however, that’ll have to wait for the very special “Ireland” episode of Just DFACS Ma’am but here’s a teaser: their public washrooms are very clean. For now, I’ve just got a few bouquets and several brickbats to toss around regarding the last 6 days. Continue reading

48 Hours

I knew today was gonna be a good day. Not only am I down to the final 48 hours before leave but I opened the bathroom stall this morning to find that the guy before me had actually flushed. A good omen and an unexpected reminder that civilization exists somewhere. With that uplifting start to my day my journalistic furnace is fully stoked. Let’s see what kind of KAF awesomeness I’ll be unmissing while I’m at home. But first…here’s a sign I defy you to understand:

So, you're open when?

So, you’re open when?

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