If the DFACS can take leftover cheese and pineapple and try to pass it off as a delicious salad, then I can toss together several bits that didn’t make it into this week’s earlier posts and sell it as a literary masterpiece. No one to some reheated blather…
Another Day, Another Frus
Eagle-eyed M spotted yet another Frus today. I haven’t seen this particular font before but it looks like it would be harder to screw up than some of the more stylized ones. Luckily the Toyota decal application guy is up to the challenge.
Just Listen To Yourself!
I love chocolate milk but, it seems, I don’t like halal chocolate milk. At home the chocolate milk is thick and creamy and tastes good. In whatever country the shit at the Cambridge comes from, chocolate milk is watery, tasteless and unyummy. Based upon the Arabic writing, I’m going to assume it is because it is halal so, as I understand it, the milk has to come from cows that are being slowly killed and bled (note: my understanding of the vagaries of middle-east belief systems is, admittedly, somewhat limited and tainted by my familiarity with reality). Anyway, the stuff was shitty. I should really pay attention to my own policy of not consuming stuff with Arabic writing on it (that is Arabic, right?)
I Fixed It
Our X-Box at work (yes, I know, in some places that would be an oxymoron…fuck off) broke down. I went and borrowed a screwdriver and some allen keys from our technicians (enduring their taunts of “you sure you know what you’re doing?”) and proceeded to apply all my managerial skills to fixing the thing. Turns out that the screws don’t take allen keys and the screwdriver was too big. Just then, our customer rep, for whom we (as in our company, not me personally, for reasons that will soon be obvious) maintain very complex systems, came into my office just as I was using a pair of scissors as a screwdriver. “Right tool for the job, I see” he smirked. Turns out the right tool for the job was my Visa card.
They’ve been doing a lot of paving here lately. This must all be in support of the rapid reduction in personnel on KAF we keep getting told is imminent…oh wait…that doesn’t really make sense, does it? Anyway, much of the paving has been at the giant roundabout down by the wash rack and Monti which is affectionately known as Dysfunction Junction. While this paving’s going on, the roundabout has become even more dysfunctional. As you can see by the absolutely to scale, photo realistic illustration I’ve crafted, it’s not your typical roundabout. The road with the big red line across it is the one we used to take to the Monti. It’s now closed for paving. The green line indicates the path we need to take to get through the roundabout to the Monti. The orange lines indicate the paths other drivers take through the same problematic part of the labyrinth. I particularly enjoy the vehicles that make a left turn there. I hope you can see how this design is, perhaps, difficult to navigate especially as it is usually full of vehicles driven by oblivious/confused assholes. Those little red rectangles? Oh, those represent the vehicles that randomly stop in the roundabout as their drivers suffer complete mental breakdown.
Would it have been better mixed with some leftover broccoli?
“This isn’t life in the fast lane, it’s life in the oncoming traffic” – Terry Pratchett