Here are some random musings and bitches….
Enough is Enough
I mentioned a while back that the Far East had posted a banana guard to, presumably, cut down excessive banana consumption by some individuals. Well, now it seems that the idea of controlling food distribution has migrated to the other DFACs as well…but it all seems kinda random.
Cambridge has started using servers to serve half of the desserts leaving the other half a free for all. You’d think they’d be interested in limiting consumption of particularly desirable sweets but it seems rather arbitrary and some pretty nasty shit is inexplicably put under guard.
Lux uses a guard to apportion the fruit. If the goal is to limit consumption, I really can’t understand what happened to me there tonight. “Three pieces of orange, please” I said pointing to the wedges. Server guy loaded up three and started going for a fourth. “That’s enough, thanks”. He plopped the fourth on my plate and went after a fifth “No, four is enough, thanks”. He put the fifth on my plate and looked at me quizzically, seemingly wondering how he was ever going to fit a sixth piece onto the small dessert plate. I slowly grabbed it out of his hand and backed away.
Northline has a guard on all the desserts. Ok, I get that…desserts are yummy and some people are gluttons. However, there is also sometimes a guard on the fruit salad as there was at breakfast this morning. D was bemused that the rationer put far more fruit salad in his bowl than he would ever have taken on his own. “Hey, better to have too much than not enough” I suggested. “Yeah, but he took a lot more of the juice than I would have and now, when I mix it with yogurt, it’s a soupy mess,” D clarified. Fuck, war is hell.
And how come some of the DFACs insist on dishing up your oatmeal and some don’t? The ones that do (I’m looking at you, Cambridge) insist on filling the bowls to the brim such that there isn’t any room for milk or brown sugar. Northline lets us fill our own bowls so I can attain the appropriately high brown sugar/oatmeal ratio.
So, we got to thinking…If the default portions the servers are giving are larger than most people would take and they’re rationing different shit at each DFAC, it follows that the rationale for the guards is neither portion control nor supply management. My guess is that the DFACs have to rationalize the number of employees in their contract and, since they likely charge a mark up for each employee, I bet it’s all a make work project. Or, they’re just whacko.
Man of the House
My oldest daughter lives in an enhanced care home in Halifax. She just found out she is changing rooms so we have to get her internet connection moved. It’s important we get this done quickly as Vicky relies on the internet for all of her communication, much of her entertainment and her work (she’s an author). My wife calls up our ISP, Eastlink and asks to have it moved. Turns out that our account is in my name. Well, my wife points out she has a power of attorney and will email it to them. Nope, not good enough. To get her added to the account, they need to hear from me (or at least someone with a man’s voice who pretends to be me) via phone.
My innovative spouse finds a link on the Eastlink website that allows one to make service requests via on-line chat. So, she messages them, pretending to be me, chats with an apparently nice guy who sets up the service call. She then asks him to add her “wife”, Joan, to the account. Nope. It has to be done by phone call.
Now if I, being a shit disturber, were Joan, I would have called them up, claiming to be her husband and asked to add “my wife” to the account. They would very likely say something like “You don’t sound like a man” , at which point I would take great offense and ask “are you threatening to discriminate against me simply because I don’t sound as masculine as your bigoted stereotype demands?” May or may not be effective but sure would be fun.Anyhow, Joan messaged me and asked me to call Eastlink to add her to the accounts. All the while, she, pretending to be me, is text chatting to the nice Eastlink guy. He gives her a number to call that she then sends via Facebook message to me. I call it and get some place called Delta Cable in British Columbia, the wrong goddam side of the country, which is closed because it’s still fucking 5 AM there. Their voicemail greeting also provides a number for their corporate office which is in Nova Scotia…where it’s about 9:30 AM by this point. I call it and get voicemail. Voicemail?!? On their fucking corporate head office number at 9:30? I leave a reasonably pointed message and played the “I’m in Afghanistan” card. I call back several times, finally getting a human to answer the phone. They pass me over to