Covering One’s Ass

J, M and I went to Cambridge on Wednesday night for dinner. We ate stuff.

Made with Kellogg's Rice Mushies, apparently.

M just had to try the Vanilla Crunch for dessert. Being wise to the DFAC ways, he got two desserts, one trusted item along with the experimental Crunch. I’m no expert on body language but I’m pretty sure if someone bites into dessert, grimaces, mutters “ugh…shit” and tosses the bitten item onto their soiled dinner plate, they’re probably not going back for seconds. “It’s all mushy. It’s called crunch but there’s no crunch to it. It’s like it was an afterthought for both me and the chef. It’s kinda like an RKS* except it tastes bad” said M.  He then nodded dejectedly as J asked “Mushy like someone left the cereal box open too long?”.

All I’m gonna say about this next picture is that it is over the sauce that one is supposed to put on the pasta. Umm…no.

What the fuck? Bits of canned tuna floating tomato. Those fuckin' crazy Brits.

That looks harmless...

So they had this main course dish called Chicken Dahm Sag (sp?). It looked ok all covered in some sort of green spice/herb looking stuff. So I get a couple of pieces. One piece is obviously a drumstick, the other piece I assumed was a thigh or breast…kinda hard to tell all camo’d up like that. As he puts it on my plate, some of the camo sticks to the tongs and the side showing still looks ok but I’m not sure what part of the chicken it is.

This ass is ready for sniping duties.

I get to the table, eat the drumstick first and slice some of the meat off of the mystery part. It tastes ok if a little bland. I turn the piece over and what do I find? You guessed it…a cleverly camouflaged goddam chicken ass.Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…it’s a fucking chicken ass” I was heard to exclaim. Sorry mom, but if they were serving you camouflaged chicken ass, you’d be cussing too. I can’t believe they’ve taken to disguising the fucking things. Fuck.

Bottom Line

“If you shoot a bullet someone dies. If you drop a bomb many die. You hit a woman, love dies. But if you say the F-word… nothing actually happens.” ― Richard Curtis

“Literature is a toil and a snare, a curse that bites deep” – D.H. Lawrence

“I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.” -P. G. Wodehouse

*What the cool kids call Rice Krispie Squares, apparently. M is cooler than me.

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