Rations Roundup

Here’s the quick and dirty low down on my experiences at the various DFACS over the last week or so. Buckle up!

Cambridge-Just Close Your Eyes and Think of England

We ate at Cambridge several times over the last little while. While there were several things that offended even my stunted aesthetic sense, they had some success on the gustatory front.

Looks can be deceiving

They did up another Hawaiian night on the 28th. Good to see the grass skirtage not going to waste. They had a beautiful looking cake with nary a spelling mistake to be found. I, however, fearing the standard KAF cake moisture deficit, opted for the Mango Cheesecake. It looked like shit but tasted so awesome that I managed to convince J it was an important part of his low carb diet.

Who knew Hawaiians had deep fryers?

J was perhaps a little more susceptible than usual to my suggestive powers as he was mesmerized by the haircut of the servicewoman sitting near us. It can probably best be described as a “reverse mullet” which we’ve taken to referring to as a “rullet”. It was extremely, almost brush cut, short in the very back and got progressively longer toward the front. Like driving by an accident scene, J just couldn’t look away. In his stoic effort to avert his gaze he took to finishing his meal staring straight ahead, emotionless. The cheesecake seemed to help. The other “Hawaiian” food was pretty good too, particularly the “Spicy Fried Pineapple”. It wasn’t spicy at all but was definitely fried and pineapple.

Presentation isn't everything.

We also ate at the Cambridge on the 21st of January. The meal was kinda nondescript overall but two things stood out to me. One was that there were three different kinds of ugly mushiness on the menu. The resemblance of the veggie casserole and spinach to various forms of oral discharge have been thoroughly documented in earlier posts but a new brand of visually disturbing comestible is now being served. It was labeled on the salad bar as bean pate. It looked a lot like hummus which, I guess, is just a fancy name for bean pate which is just a fancy name for mashed up beans but this stuff was a sort of washed out brown colour. I think it was made with kidney beans rather than pinto beans/chick peas like regular hummus/bean pate/mashed up beans. It did not look appetizing…so I got some. Well, colour me surprised! It was chock full of fresh garlic and tasted awesome! I love garlic. I eat garlic sandwiches at home. This stuff was the highlight of my day.

Bucket o' ketchup

Cambridge, along with the Lux, has had a dearth of little ketchup packets lately. For a few days there was no ketchup at all which, for D, pretty much renders his breakfast omelette (and almost everything else) inedible. While I’m happy that they now seem to have a lot of ketchup, I gotta say that scoopin’ it outta a giant bucket ain’t the most appetizing of experiences. I’m particularly disturbed by the non-homogenous colour of it. I guess maybe its dumped outta separate industrial sized drums from different batch lots which may vary…kinda like paint.

Lonely Luxury

A tub o' pies.

We ate at the Lux a couple of times for dinner and once for lunch. Now that the Canadians who used to frequent the joint have pulled out, it is almost empty. Shhh…don’t tell anyone, you’ll ruin it. It was deathly quiet. I almost missed the incessant screeching of chairs we’ve come to expect at every DFAC. The food is the same old, same old but at least the beef and onion pies were factory made. D suggested they should relabel the “condiment” table as “mayo” since that’s all there is other than the bucket o’ ketchup.

Mont-Battin’ a Thousand

Great Lasagna, Good Pork, Blasphemous Potatoes.

This stat is, admittedly, accurate only if one limits the sample size to the last two days. Yesterday, they had real, honest to goodness, roast turkey. There were legs and breasts and wings, all completely featherless! The gravy, which I had on fries, was really good and they even had a bucket o’ cranberry sauce (the colour of which, BTW, was reassuringly homogenous). So, tempting fate, I suggested to J and M (the artist previously known as M2 who, with the departure of M,  has been renamed) that we go there again tonight. M’s response was along the lines of “I don’t give a damn” while J forcefully opined “meh, whatever”. Once again, my impressive gift of persuasion resulted in us going where I wanted. The lasagna was excellent…spicy with a proper meat/cheese/pasta ratio. My vegetable course, a breaded pork chop, was only slightly greasy and not overcooked at all…that’s KAF-awesome in my book. The line up for fries was too long so I reluctantly took a scoop of mashed potatoes. A ladle would have made more sense as a serving tool for this slimy monstrosity. While hot sauce helped the taste, it did nothing for the mud-like consistency. Luckily I had pie.

South Asians feel like pasta today. I did not expect that.

I have one concern for the Monti though. I used to always be able to count on something adequate to be under the “Feel Like Pasta Today” sign. Not pasta of course, but often Mexican or Chinese style food. The last two nights, it’s been curry. Unlike J, I’m not a huge fan of KAF curry so I hope this is not a permanent situation. From the line up of South Asians which wound its way through the DFAC, I think I’m in the minority.

Bottom Line

My choices for meals are:
Breakfast at the Northline (no Omelette King but no line either and real bacon)
Lunch at Lux (no line ups)
Dinner at Monti (decent food lately)

Your choices for meals should be anywhere else.

“You’re just a three dressed up as a nine” – Trooper

“I’m not afraid to be lonely at the top”. – Barry Bonds

“Every winning streak will have to end sometime.” – Jahangir Khan

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