Random Acts of KAFness

People rotated out, people rotated in, “flatmates” were irksome, the food sparked conversation, the potholes grew, we had a rocket attack and cake. Overall, a typical KAF coupla days.

Leavin’ on a Jet Plane

A flew out of here yesterday for some leave. We’ve been using one charter airline (you can figure out which one) for all of our Dubai-KAF, KAF-Dubai transportation needs lately because they’re teamed up with a company who has nice new 737’s. The only problem is that they fly into terminal 2 at Dubai and, since we Canadians don’t play nice with the UAE, we either need to get visas or use the sometimes slow and jam-packed transfer service so we can get to terminal 1 for our onward journey. The other charter airline (again, you can guess who) with a regular Dubai-KAF route is now flying into terminal 1. “Yay,” I thought “Let’s use A as our guinea pig and try it out!” Here are a couple of excerpts from his report (edited for publication):

“The DC-9 was old though not in too bad a shape but it was full. 737’s are a much nicer flight option.  The guy one row in front and over from me, guzzled his beer as if it was going out of style. He devoured his meal and then proceeded to consume the coffee whitener, sugar and salt right out of their individual packages. Either he didn’t get to eat much while in KAF or had to feed the tape worm he was taking back to his family .Also annoying was the guy behind me “talking” to his buddy two rows further back, like they “talk” on their cell phones…loud! These flights, although all economy class, should also have a Canadian class where polite people can sit.

It sucks to be a guinea pig…that’s why I’m not.

Don’t Know When I’ll Be Back Again

AA may have said that back in July but after a six month leave of absence, he has returned for more KAF fun. He seems pretty happy with our new quarters (he left before the flood made us refugees). He is particularly enamoured of his neighbour who plays Indian music at high volume. At least, I think AA is a Bollywood fan because he said the music was preferable to 10 minutes of hearing “hello”, “hello”, “hello” as his neighbour loudly and in vain tried to complete a cell phone call home. AA said it was like listening to a South Asian version of the “can you hear me now” commercial.

CKN Mini Balls - "I was born this way" - Lady Gaga

D, J, AA and I went to the Monti for dinner tonight. D had the CKN Mini Balls again. He claimed “The filling is cream cheese”. I said “No, it’s more like some kind of ranch dressing…no way that is cream cheese”. “I meant a really shitty cream cheese” he clarified. “Oh, a shitty cream cheese that tastes like ranch dressing?” “Yes”. I can’t argue with that logic…well, I could but what would be the fucking point? When I later opined that the

Sofa Steak

manufacture of the Ckn Mini Balls was a mystery akin to the Caramilk secret,  D suggested that the chickens may be grown with the stuff already inside. He didn’t say how (or why).

AA had the steak of which “one part was really good…but then it went away and was replaced by sofa”.

Welcome Back AA!

The No’Line

Walk Right In, Lay Right Down

We went to the Northline for lunch again today but a little later than usual…almost 2 pm. There was no line up at all! “Hot Damn!” I thought. We washed our hands, entered the DFAC proper, I was about to swipe my card…and I see everyone in front of me laying on the floor. “Shit…rocket attack I didn’t hear no stinking siren“. A rocket attack means that the DFAC staff stop serving until the “All Clear” alarm. Dammit…no line up and I still end up with a fucking sandwich. I really wanted the “Pit Baked Ham”…damn Taliban will do anything to stop me from eating pork.

Just a little puddle...

Yeah You Shook Me

The rains have abated but now we have to contend with the biggest damn potholes I’ve ever seen. For you whiners who haven’t been to KAF and complain about Nova Scotia, Quebec, New York or whatever bloody roads, I’ve created a little video of part of my commute for your listening and viewing pleasure.

Happy Australia Day

A Not So G’day for a Barbie

Yesterday we had Canadian weather for Australia day but the Aussies put on a barbie anyway. We had lamingtons (we thought he said “lemmingtons”  and J had hoped they were made with real lemmings) and cake. The one Aussie on our team who keeps whinging about the -5C temperatures to his Canadian colleagues (who live in areas where -40C is common) was advised to not go outside as his tears might freeze.

Bottom Line

“It’s a lot of random situations that combine in a certain volatile form and create a bigger-than- the-whole situation that nobody could have predicted.” – Paul Kantner

Huh? What?

6 thoughts on “Random Acts of KAFness

  1. was A A driving in that video?? You gotta get him to tell the story of when he was driving one time and I had a cup of coffee in my hand!!

  2. Would that coffee have in the “the mug”?
    I too was wondering about the driving…..holy shook up kidneys and other internal organs!!

    • we were in the truck, I was talking on the phone at the same time! A A insured that there was barely a drop left in my cup upon arrival!! (True story)

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