Yes, I Agree. Your Meal Looks Delicious.

Man, it seems to be taking me longer to kill my taste buds this time in. I’m finding the food to be spectacularly ungood. Others have been more fortunate and have been kind enough to point this out. Here are the lowlights of the last few days.

Seafood Oldburg

Today, as usual, we went to the Northline for lunch. It can usually be counted on for decent fare but I made the egregious mistake of trying something new. Yeah, the seafood Newburg looked disgusting and I knew it would be made out of the overcooked baked pollock that was on yesterday’s lunch menu but I just couldn’t bring myself to get what appeared to mechanically deboned turkey roll. Sure, it had shrimp and other bits of things that I assume were once denizens of the deep so there was potential there. Unfortunately, it all tasted just a bit…um…off. I’m sure it was perfectly safe but it seemed to be saying “You shoulda eaten me yesterday”. I tried pairing it with the overcooked spaghetti but two wrongs do not always make a right.

K Carbo loading for a non-existent tri-athalon

Fortunately, A and L had opted for the turkey so I could at least enjoy a lunch vicariously. According to L, it was ambrosia. A seemed particularly fond of telling me that, although it looked somewhat artificial, it was, in fact, moist and delicious. I doubt it was as good as they claimed as they droned on just a tad too long and too enthusiastically and I believe I detected mischievous glints in their eyes as they watched me stare disconsolately down at my plate of festering marine life. K, who had chosen the eclectic (and somewhat nauseating) mix of stuffing, mac and cheese and mashed potatoes, declared his meal to be excellent in that it all tasted like the taco sauce he’d squeezed over everything. My slop was so distasteful that I looked upon even his plate with envy.

As an aside, we had a very fruitful discussion regarding the names for meals. L, a Brit, had many misconceptions corrected. I’m sure she now agrees that “tea” is a drink and not a meal. That a snack eaten at bedtime is called a “bedtime snack” (duh!) and not supper and that the noon meal is lunch and not dinner. I’m sure she appreciated this lesson in the English language as much as I liked hearing about how good her fucking turkey was.

A wants guys to look him in the eye when they talk to him.

Last night we went to the Cambridge for dinner and they were serving pot roast. This is not be confused with their standard Sunday dinner…that’s roast beef. Pot roast is completely different in that the beef is overcooked and toughened up in a pot as opposed to being overcooked and toughened up in an oven. The carrots I had with it were pretty good but the fries were mushy. Please french fry guy, heat up the oil before adding the potatoes, will ya? Oh, and A seems to have taken my previous post to heart and opted for water rather than soy beverage.

Ugh.

Tonight, at the Cambridge, I had a scone for dessert. Oh, it looks pretty good sitting there all dusted with sugar,eh. Little did I know that they’d hidden a clump of that sugary lard-like shit inside it. To be fair, I have to admit I can’t be sure this stuff was lard. It may have been shortening or possibly even butter. Regardless, look how goddamn thick it is on there! It’s not like it’s all whipped up and nice and fluffy. It’s got the consistency of…fuck…I can’t come up with anything gross enough to convey how awful the consistency is. It’s yucky.

Ok, just so I don’t look like a whinger, I guess I’d better admit that the breakfasts at the Cambridge are excellent. The omelette king continues to deliver the goods. There is a new guy who takes over when Santos goes on break and he’s doing a pretty good job…but he did break one of my yolks yesterday and I actually have to tell him what my order is. Sigh.

Bottom Line

If my posts are beginning to put you off your feed, you oughta check out my lovely wife’s latest post; it’s all about the great food she’s making at home. I’m sure it is all delicious, but I think she’s added a bit too much salt…to my wounds.

“When men are full of envy they disparage everything, whether it be good or bad.”-Tacitus

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7 thoughts on “Yes, I Agree. Your Meal Looks Delicious.

  1. I just don’t know what to say. Can I mail you something to eat? At this point, your old Dr Pepper/Twizzlers diet sounds good compared to that seafood stuff.

    I’m sorry. XO

  2. Gotta say, that first picture you posted looks like something my 5 year old grandson barfed up over Christmas when the poor kid had the flu! Sorry for that, but I gotta tell it like it is. I sent over 2 large jars of Cheese Whiz, 2 large bottles of hot sauce & a very large container of Twizzlers! Maybe that can be your diet till it’s time to leave again???? (I’m hoping thery left some Twizzlers……I included a note saying as much). XO

  3. Its simple please pay attention please M:
    Breakfast a meal normally between 6-9 a.m,
    Lunch a meal normally between 12noon and 1:30 p.m,
    TEA a MEAL normally between 5-7 p.m and finally just before bedtime its supper a light snack to get your body through the night!
    See M its on the internet so obviously it is True L (The Brit)

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