All Hallow’s Evenig

Seriously, please have someone proofread this shit.

Brave enough to eat cat poop but afraid of kids in costumes...go figger.

Well, it’s October 31st. Another Hallowe’en away from home. I can’t say I miss our poor dogs going nuts every time a trick or treater shows up at the door. Each time, they run barking to the door, see it’s a little kid and wag their tails, sniffing contentedly. You’d think after the first 5 or 10 kids, they’d detect a pattern and not act so goddamn surprised the next time the doorbell rang. One of our dogs is half boarder collie (supposedly the smartest breed) and one is a retired service dog for the disabled (another one you’d think would have a couple of clues to rub together). Oh, they’re smart enough to figure out a way to lick their own genitalia but Hallowe’en is beyond their ken for some reason.

Beige Man and his sidekicks.

Anyway, back to Hallowe’en in KAF. I dressed up as a mild manner defense contractor who can transform into his alter ego, Beige Man, without even getting changed. Lots of people copied me although the donut chomping, obese contractor variation was a neat twist chosen by several. Other popular costumes included Armyman, Perplexed Navy Guy Who’s Found Himself In a Land-Locked Desert, and Cool Aircrew Dude With a Porn Star Moustache Who Rolls Up The Sleeves Of His Flight Suit While Wearing Raybans.

Frankly, I found Thanksgiving's Cannibal Turkey scarier.

So Cambridge was all decorated for the occasion. Along with the decorations, all the dishes had hallowe’en themed names:

I’m not sure what “corrosive sublimate” is but it made the sausages taste ok. They should use it more often.

Here's a hint DFAC guys...make this shit edible by someone other than a great white.

The highlight of the night for me, however, was seeing the “homemade caramel apples” sign in the dessert area. They were actually “candy apples” but why quibble…the spelling was right at least. They looked delicious. The problems started when I tried to bite into one. The thin skewer they had used for a handle snapped off. Then I tried to bite into it. It was like trying to bite through glass…except that this glass (delicious as it was) immediately turned from a solid to fucking super glue upon contact with teeth. The results of my first aborted bite attempt are documented in the picture. I gamely tried again and managed to get some of the candy coating with the result being an inability to open my mouth. J found this extremely amusing and my telling him to “fug ah” only increased his mirth. I gave up. Misery loves company so I was delighted to see the Ukranian serviceman beside us go through a similar experience with his candy apple. There was no laughter at their end of the table, however. Both he and his companion maintained their Slavic reserve and dignity throughout the process. J could learn something from them.

Bottom Line

I didn’t think Brits did Hallowe’en shit so was surprised to see this at the Cambridge. The food was just the regular fare renamed but anything that relieves the monotony of KAF life is welcome. Someone really should test drive the innovative things like candy apples…the coating was delicious but eating it was a harrowing experience.

“If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.” – Doug Coupland

9 thoughts on “All Hallow’s Evenig

  1. I’m surprised that you appear to have shopped at the same costume supply store….. D at least could have put on his blue shirt, just to mix it up a bit.

    Would have loved to be there when you attempted your bite of candy apple!!

  2. I just love this blog… I can laugh out loud knowing that after my 13 months in Afghanistan, I do not have to eat at said DFACs anymore. I can laugh because I’m not living it anymore. I can laugh eventhough I know it is all true and not ‘made up’ or even exaggerated. So sorry you still have to deal with chicken ass (oh yes it’s real) and candy apples that are tricks instead of treats, but I’m enjoying your revelations and laugh (if only to cover the shudder of horror of bad memories)! 🙂

  3. So right – gotta laugh to stay sane!

    Love the Extra Chicken post! (Couldn’t comment over there as it says “Comments are closed.”) Anyway, am jealous of the new Asian Restaurant. Here in the middle-of-nowhere-Kentucky the Asian cuisine is a bit questionable. 🙂 But do I read that right – number 25 is “Fried Shrimps with GLASS Noodles”??? LOL

    • I fixed the comments thingy. Don’t know how it got turned off as I had to hunt around and display the box that controls it.

      I suspect the glass noodles are not real glass but maybe I’ll try that next time. We’re considering making it a weekly event. It was that good.

  4. The shrimp with glass noodles ROCK. And so does the glass noodle soup they sometimes serve at breakfast at the Asian DFAC.

    I have to stop reading the blog now – I’m becoming KAFsick (that’s a variation of homesick, not sickness induced from eating chicken ass at the DFAC).

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