Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad

Oh what a difference a couple of days can make. You may recall that just two days ago, we had an excellent dinner at the Lux. Well, we tried the Lux again tonight and they must have changed cooks or something because it was pretty ungood.

A Horrible Misteak

Now that Independence Hall and the Monti seem to be providing some decent meals that are very different in style than the Lux and Cambridge, we’ve been pseudo-randomly changing where we eat each night. Last night was Independence Hall and, boy, were we pleasantly surprised. That made for two really good dinners in a row.

IH had “Baked Fish” (what kind of fish? who knows?) and it was arguably the best prepared food I’ve ever had in KAF. It was lightly breaded and perfectly cooked. I strongly suspect it came directly out of a box in the freezer and into the oven which would explain why is was sooooo much better than the fish they usually serve at the other DFACs. Last time I had fish at the Cambridge, it was a little funky tasting and so mushy that I couldn’t tell if it was undercooked or had just spent too much time sitting in warm water.

IH-Great Fish and Adequate Steak

The IH also had steak which, against my better judgement, I tried as well. It was, of course, overcooked and back home it would only be served to hungover college students as part of the $2.99 steak and eggs at a greasy spoon but it wasn’t too tough and by KAF standards it was better than most. Still, I wish I had just had more fish rather than sacrificing myself for my readers by getting the steak. You bastards owe me.

They Should Build LAV's Out of that Steak

Now let’s contrast this with the steak served at the Lux tonight. I just gotta ask, “What the hell is the point of serving this crap?”. How the hell can something that thin be that tough? Companies spend millions of dollars trying to develop materials with this kind of tensile and shear strength. It certainly had more than my plastic fork which bent as I tried to hold it still to cut it. And once those forks’ structural integrity is compromised they’re pretty useless. They should make them out of steak.

Put on Your Damn Listening Ears

It’s becoming evident to me that those who really should be reading this blog either aren’t or they just aren’t heeding my words of wisdom. Let’s start with J.

Now, as you know, J is regularly featured in this blog as we eat dinner together every night he is in KAF. He can often be relied upon to provide some quotable quotes for the blog. He does not, however, faithfully read Just DFACS Maam. This failing bit him in the ass tonight. There was a garlic chili chicken breast on the menu. It was of the boneless variety. As people more loyal than J would know, rule #1 forbids ordering it but J, in his ignorance of my edicts, did so anyway. I asked him how it was and he said “overcooked and too dry”. I petulantly pointed out that, had he read my blog, he would have known it would be. He replied “Oh, I knew it would be so it’s ok”. Apparently crappy food is ok so long as you know it’s going to be crappy ahead of time! Nice try J, but I know you’ll be reading the blog religiously now to avoid similar embarrassments in the future.

Similarly, it is evident that Lux DFAC staff aren’t reading this thing. M chose some “Russian Potato Salad” from the salad bar. Now, I’m no botanist but I’m pretty goddamn sure they don’t grow pineapples or bananas in Russia. Oh, and looky here. Does it say “Stir the potatoes, tomatoes, pineapples and bananas together”. No. It fucking doesn’t. If you read my blog, you’d know better.

Bottom Line

Better up your game, Lux. IH and Monti both seem to be making an effort to improve. I suspect they’re reading my blog.

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5 thoughts on “Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad

  1. If you are ever in Oklahoma I’ll make up for that misteak at one of our fine steak houses. Love your blog! My BFF’s husband is at KAF so I love the perspective you give, thanks for your hard work!

    • Well, I hope your BFF’s husband is reading the blog so he doesn’t make the same mistakes J does. Thanks for the steak offer, I’d stop by after work but the commute is a bitch.

  2. I just want to know what the hell you will blog about when KAF is done. Whatever it is, it needs to be just as good if not better than Just DFACS Maam!!! Oh and please don’t apply for the job that your wife sent you the link to!

  3. OMG Too hillarious ! Makes me watch to send you over some real food on a Herc, but being on a Near Artic base, im not sure our groceries are a whole lot more fresh, and all the milk I buy comes in a box, and it never goes bad !! Cant wait to read your next installment !!

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